He really likes me, said the
teenager girl to her friend. But does he love you? Well I didn't ask him that.
O girl! Grow up. You are already sixteen, it’s time to have a boyfriend, have
sex, go around places on his bike grabbing the pillion seat and have fun. Look at me; I have the entire world in in my
fist enclosed. My boyfriend loves me and says it on Facebook, loud and clear.
Copy that!
Roger!
Okay! So let’s for a moment
rethink and logically break down the conversation between these two young
ladies above.
The matter of contention is the
use of two very naively used words which otherwise define everything of the
mortal human lives. Like and Love. So, what’s the fuss? I like ice cream, I love
ice cream. More or less just the same.
Well, one more; I like traveling, I love traveling, again no difference.
Still one more, I like her I love
her. Now stop! Here is something worth noticing. Do we see the difference? I am
sure you are not impressed. We are all religiously aware of the difference
between like and love, when the context changes from objects to persons. Liking ice creams and loving ice creams are
pretty much the same but liking someone and loving someone are not the same. “And that, love is more powerful, placed
higher than likeness and love has greater force than likeness and also love is
more divine than likeness and love is deeper whereas likeness is shallow”. This
precise piece of gyan is as old as the stories of devils being defeated by the
good ones, after the good ones have suffered for ages.
So, coming to the origin where we
started, what is that I am suggesting? Well, I see that we have been fooling
ourselves, happily convinced that being loved or loving someone is of greater
worth than liking or being liked. I disapprove, humbly and deliberately and
logically. Likeness is truth, apolitical and selfless. Love comes combined with
selfish desires. Ego oriented calculations and many more hidden agenda. Likeness
has the power to help the person one likes as selflessly as the treed drops the
fruit for the passerby, without a thought to get thanks in reply. The pro-love philosophy has thrived and
survived all this time because we all live in denial. And it’s not a culture or
lifestyle or socialization, it’s a dire indispensable need. The need to glorify something as selfish as
love serves our purpose of survival, works as the preservative for our ailing
hearts by keeping the illusion intact. It works wonderfully in making us
overlook all things we had always known were not true but , the fear of truth
and its revelation is powerful enough to keep us in denial, eyes closed.
Likeness still continues to be
likeness unaffected by human conspiracy of controlling people around, the
establishment of the triumph of the ego and all things with many shades hidden
than revealed. With likeness one can be as honest as the smile on the face of
an infant. With likeness its admiring people for absolutely who they are. In
likeness there is no trace of vested interests. In likeness there is no hidden
agenda to dominate a partner. In likeness you have no calculations no make
before saying, I like you. But, I love
you has to go through hyper emotional arithmetic. We probably, love our college professor way
more than our boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife because respect for him/her is
holy and likeness comes easy and somewhere it reaches the level of love without
being polluted as it never becomes love. It stays likeness.
Liking someone comes with an
innate ability to respect the person’s individuality, a sense of each other’s
space and more terrifically, admiration without intent. In this category love
fails like a child who wants to fly and jumps off the rooftop, only to break a
limb. Love never experiences its presence without the pre-conditions of
jealousy and unquenchable want to get back. It’s always a barter of give and
take.
Love travels through its course
of high and low intensity. Sometimes its surrender sometimes its “do not step
on my space”. Love has to taste the salts of possessiveness, mockery and prejudice.
Likeness continues to be what it is, just likeness. The people we like in our
lives have rarely turned averse but we can name more sorrows to love than even
hate.
The sanctity and the beauty of
life are in keeping a sense of likeness towards all things around us. And love,
let it take its own course, be immortalized or die a natural death.
